Trying to eat in Regent Square

Regent Square, where I'm currently living, is about 6 miles or so from the Point in downtown Pittsburgh. When I was looking for paces to live here, lots of people suggested this area for its friendliness, vicinity to the largest of the 'Burgh's 4 parks, it's art scene & sense of community. Places like this tend to host enjoyable places to eat & at first glance, Regent Square is no different.

D's Six Pax & Hot Dogs, arguably the most popular, was the first place that caught my eye when I was looking around here. It was exactly what the name says - a six pack shop (here in PA, the only places to get beer to go are six pack shops and beer stores (for 12's, cases, kegs, etc.)) that also served hot dogs (plus fries and some sandwiches). They claim to have over 600 different beers, it used to be more than 1,000). Well, right around the time I moved in, they decided to renovate the insides and overhaul the menu. Granted, 600 beers is more than plenty to choose from, but they eliminated 400(!) choices from their selection of micro brews, specialty beers & imports. They expanded the food menu to include soups, salads, pizzas & calzones and a wide range of appetizers.

While it would seem that all these new choices would be great for the customers, right? Not even close; think about it - you've got a staff used to serving (and being somewhat knowledgeable about) beers and dogs and now you're asking them to deal with everything that comes with having, what is pretty much, a full menu. The "cooks" couldn't give a shit about the quality of the food, the waitresses are tragically overwhelmed, a number of the guys behind the bar are way too busy watching the LCD TVs and talking with their friends to give any thought to service, and the owner appears to not care because he's rolling in money.

From what I understand, D's used to be a small, respected hole in the wall with a lot of regulars. Now, its become a food factory with the uniqueness of being a hot dog and specialty beer bar fading away. When Creech was down here, about a month ago) we had lunch at D's and I haven't been there since. The experience we had turned me off of that place for good.

They'd had one of those A-frame chalkboard street signs outside, but it was raining so all we could see was something about "chicken wings" and "all day". Inside, we sat at the bar, and noticed the sign above, "Chicken Wings $.25 all day". We got 18 wings and some other stuff. When the bill came, we'd been charged 50 cents per wing. So we asked what's up, the sign says .25? The guy who'd been "waiting" on us went over and pulled the most incredible move I'd seen in a while. He erased the sign. "The other signs all say 50 cents", he says. Wait, what other signs? HE GOES AROUND THE CORNER AND POINTS TO A SIGN NO ONE IN OUR ROOM COULD HAVE SEEN! What the fuck is that? Apparently the sign outside (which had the writing washed away from rain) was #2.

Alright, this is a joke, right? We told him we weren't going to pay (by this time, it was only about fucking over this guy, the money was no issue) and asked for the manager. He says, "uh, I am the manager (his friend - not coworker - was standing at the bar next to us while this was going down and the barback was trying to look good for him, he knew he'd fucked up)." I laughed right at him, all I could think of was The Chapelle Show's Kinko's skit. Comedian, this guy. "I don't believe you," I say to him.

Somehow, we got some old lady who works there to come over ( I've always taken her to be the owner/manager's wife but, either I was wrong about that or she's just the worst business co-owner ever). She tells us that the wings are 50 cents, so that's what we owe. We appeal with, "but the sign said .25!?" "There is no sign that says 25 cents," she says. DAMN IT! At this point, I'm starting to lose it, this is fucking crazy. "HE ERASED THE SIGN!!!" Steve and I say in unison. She just walks away, just didn't do anything. We're stunned.

No, we didn't pay for the wings, we left. I refuse to go back after this. Sucks too, because I've got these little punch cards good for a free hot dog and one for a free sub. Damn. Hope the manager is glad he's got this guy on board working for him; kid's probably gonna cost him 500+ dollars over a matter of $4.50, I won't go and I've told enough people that their frequency going in there has lessened.

The Map Room is directly next to D's. To say they're a step up over D's is a bit of an understatement. While the menu here still has some staples like burgers (I don't think D's does), they've got an all around classier menu, shrimp, nuts on salads, probably some fruit in there too. Needless to say, they don't do much business in Pittsburgh.

With the name The Map Room, this bar is kind of homage to cartography. I've read a review somewhere about the maps on the walls in there. At my last count, there were 2 maps. This place is open later than D's and is right by me, so I'll stop in late night sometimes. Good place, best service I've had in this state (and I haven't asked them for anything but beers and salads), but really, where are the maps?

Dunning's (it's got an extended name, but I don't know what it is) is on the corner of the same strip that D's and The Map Room are in, and doesn't the best business amongst people not looking to get hammered - the families, elderly, casual business lunches, etc. The food is pretty damn good, but it was here that I first learned that many places in Pittsburgh put french fries on your salad, as standard practice.

See, you've got to know that the Panini sandwich was allegedly created in this city. Primanti Bros. is a local chain (+2 in Florida) that started out as single location in the Strip District. I guess when the guys working the overnight shifts at the docks/factories were on their lunch hours or getting off work in the morning, this was a place pretty much catering to them. The sandwiches are huge, obviously, but put together so well & wrapped in foil so that the workers could stuff their faces with one hand allowing them to work, drive, or whatever. The place eventually become a favorite late night place to get greasy food after a night out and business exploded. The Strip District also has a big bar scene, so the original Primanti's down there isn't exactly hurting for business.

Back to fries on the salads - on a greasy sandwich is one thing, but salads? I ordered the salad to avoid that crap. Well, Dunning's is a calm family atmosphere, and they seem to be doing pretty good business. The same bartender has been there each time I've been in. The kid may be the son of the owner (do I always think families work together at bars?) One day, at a time when they weren't particularly busy, I went in and sat at the bar. Must have sat there more than 10 minutes before I just gave up and left. Never once saw someone working behind the bar, people on both sides of me had food so there must be someone, but where is he? I was torn because I knew the longer I waited, the closer he would to coming back, but if I've already waited that long for you to show up the first time, how long are you going to be after that?

This all brings me to the reason I'm even writing this; Ryan's Pub & Grill. Up the street on the corner of Forbe's & Braddock, this, I guess, is what happens when a sports bar and an Irish cafe go for a roll in the hay. The table-tops are green w/wood trim and the walls are a dark wood. They've got all kinds of signs about whiskey. But the menu is bar food, through-and-through. I think they bring in a decent crowd, word has it that on Mondays, they've got a mad karaoke scene.

Well, I wanted to try it out last night, but the kitchen was closing in 20 minutes, and there's no way I'm ordering food at that point, so I left. Went back for dinner today around 5:30-6:00 and was surprised to see only 4 or 5 other patrons in there. When I walked in the bartender was on the phone taking an order, so I took a seat at the bar and waited for her. Seems like she and the person on the phone weren't on the same page so she was a bit flustered when she hung up. She was going through a menu, doing something for awhile, stopping only to look up at the news on TV and yell something to me about Britney Spears being a "crazy bitch".

15 minutes later she's still nose deep in that menu! She had her back to me and was a good 20 feet away the whole time, never looking over. I finally just got up and left. As I was halfway out the door, she shouts, "Sorry." "Yea, but I don't have all day." I wanted to try their, supposedly, good sub.

Most places I've gone to eat in this city have terrible service, as a whole, Pittsburgh service sucks. Notable exceptions are Kelly's, Harris', Square Cafe (in Regent Square, wow), the East End Food Co-op, and some Italian place I went to with my parents & Lauren in Point Breeze.

It's not just restaurants and bars, service around here, in general is pretty bad. More on this all later.